


i know it sounds crazy, but once you go hazy, you'll understand

by amchovy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Gen, Wilbur needs help, a lot of help, and its random af, basically they make a groupchat, buckle up sherlocks, chatfic, i dont make the rules here, i have a weird hyperfixation on tommy so yea, i wrote this on 2 hours of sleep and a lot of sugar, my brain isnt functioning correctly, no beta we die like tommy when phil gets the belt, phils just tired, philzas so done, so much help', techno is self aware, tommy is a literal child, we're going for a ride :D
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29259969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amchovy/pseuds/amchovy
Summary: {dirtycrimeboi made a chat}{dirtycrimeboi added dadzapog, bloodgod and smallgremlinchild to the chat}orwilbur makes an sbi chat and its all just randomorthis is the result of the author eating a moldy biscuit by accident(the titles from 'soft fuzzy man' by lemon demon)
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88





	1. who gave wilbur the crack

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is happening i gue-

**{dirtycrimeboi made a chat}**

**{dirtycrimeboi renamed the chat ‘3 men w self restraint and 1 child’}**

**{dirtycrimeboi added dadzapog, bloodgod and smallgremlinchild to ’3 men w self restraint and 1 child’}  
  
**

* * *

**15:08**   
**smallgremlinchild:** IM NOT A CHILD IM A BIG MAN   
  
**{smallgremlinchild renamed the chat ‘big men’}**

**dirtycrimeboi:** thats inaccurate tommy

**dirtycrimeboi:** you;re a c hi l d 

**smallgremlinchild:** _@dadzapog_ WILBURS BEING AN JERK

**bloodgod:** *a jerk   
  


**dadzapog:** Tommy, aren’t you meant to be at school?

**smallgremlinchild:** SCREW SCJHOOL IT AINT WORTH MY TIME

**bloodgod:** *school   
  


**bloodgod:** this is why you’re meant to go to school.   
  
**bloodgod:** to learn simple spelling

**dadzapog:** Tommy, stop messaging us and go to class.   
  


**smallgremlinchild:** BUT I DON WANT TO

**bloodgod:** *don’t   
**  
****dadzapog:** Tommy, I’m going to count to three.   
  
**dadzapog:** One   
  
**dadzapog:** Two   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** FINE IM GOINEG   
  
**bloodgod:** *going

  
 **dadzapog:** Good.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** if a toy died in toy story, would the other toys just watch a kid play with its corpse

**dadzapog:** Wil, are you ok?

**bloodgod:** i mean, thats harsh, but probably.   
**  
****dadzapog:** Wil?

**dirtycrimeboi:** does that mean that its possible to be playing with a graveyard of corpses

**bloodgod:** yeah, i dont know

**dadzapog:** WILBUR?

**dirtycrimeboi:** _im fine philza minecraft :)_

**smallgremlinchild:** you guys need help

**smallgremlinchild:** smh

**dadzapog** : Tommy, go to class!   
  


**{smallgremlinchild has muted the chat for 1 hour}**

**dirtycrimeboi:** how did people discover tentacle hentai

**bloodgod:** ok thats weirdchamp   
  


**dadzapog:** Wil, I’m signing you up for counselling.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** how did people come to the conclusion that cannibalism is morally wrong

bloodgod: …  
  
 **{bloodgod has removed dirtycrimeboi from the chat}** **  
  
**

**{dadzapog has added dirtycrimeboi to the chat}**

**dirtycrimeboi:** what the hell techno  
  
 **bloodgood:** you needed to be stopped  
  
 **dadzapog:** I agree with Techno on this one.  
  
 **dirtycrimeboi:** of course you do  
  
 **dirtycrimeboi:** you always do  
  
 **dirtycrimeboi:** _*insert david attenborough* and here we have the majestic father, who’s natural diet bases off of favouritism and coffee_  
  


 **dadzapog** : Wil I-

**bloodgod:** damn that was harsh   
  
**dadzapog:** I don’t have a favourite in this family.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** lies, i tell you.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** pure lies   
  
**bloodgod:** wow

**smallgremlinchild:** guys im gona stab my teacher  
  
 **dadzapog:** Tommy, don’t you dare  
  
 **smallgremlinchild:** WE HAVE HOMEWORK AND ITS HARD >:O  
  
 **bloodgod:** haha sucks to be you, nerd  
  
 **dirtycrimeboi:** tommy listen closely, grab your homework and stick it in a dishwasher, ok? then put a lobster on it for good measures.   
  
**dadzapog:** Whatever you do Tommy, don’t do what Wil said.  
  
 **smallgremlinchild:** i think ima do what wilbur said. thanks wilbur :D  
  
 **dirtycrimeboi:** 👍   
  
**bloodgod** : this is hell  
  


 **dadzapog:** Living with you lot is hell.   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** wait does that make phil the devil cos he lives in hell   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : holy crap   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** satanza   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** devilza   
  
**dirycrimeboi:** does that make us demons   
  
**bloodgod:** why   
  
**dadzapog:** Sometimes it takes all of my self-restraint to not dump you all at an orphanage.   
  
**bloodgod:** even me?   
  
**dadzapog:** Not you, Techno   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** IS THAT FAVOURITISM I SMELL IN THE AIR HOLY HECK YES IT IS CAN YOU SMELL THAT SNIFFING FAVOURITISM FOR BACON WILBUT CAN YOU   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** YES ThOMAS INNIT I CAN SNIFF AN INHILATION OF THAT BITTER FAVOURITISM PHILZA MINECRAFT I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED   
  
**dadzapog:** Techno isn’t my favourite! I don’t have a favourite!   
  
**bloodgod:** maybe if you guys were less chaotic he’d love you   
  
**dadzapog:** No! I love you all the same!   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** I CAN SMELL THE LIES, OLD MAN >:O   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** PHILZA FRICKING MINECRAFT, WE’RE ABANDONING YOU AT THE RETIREMENT HOME   
  
**dadzapog** : :(   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** frickin old man

**dirtycrimeboi:** techno how dare you be his favourite you are a literal ham sandwich   
  
**bloodgod:** bruuh

**bloodgod:** at least my hair is normal 

**dirtycrimeboi:** excuuuse me   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : my hair is great   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** his hair is great   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** dont copy me you frickin baby   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** GUYS WHATS THE SQAUARE ROOUT OF 9   
  
**bloodgod:** *square root   
  
**bloodgod:** tommy, arent you, like, 16 

**smallgremlinchild:** SHUDDUP PEPPA

**dirtycrimeboi:** □   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** what   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** its a square root

**bloodgod:** how did you pass 1st grade, wil?   
  


**dirtycrimeboi:** idk   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** at leats we aernt nerds TECHNO BLADE

**bloodgod:** *least *aren’t 

**smallgremlinchild** : screwy ou :O  
  
 **dadzapog:** I left to make coffee for 4 minutes and this is what I come back to.  
  
 **dadzapog:** _@smallgremlinchild_ The square root of 9 is 3  
  
 **smallgremlinchild:** thanks dad

**dadzapog:** This is 4th grade curriculum, Toms.   
  
**dadzapog:** You ok?   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** maths dumb, aight>?

**dirtycrimeboi:** GUIYS HELWP I JUSTW BUIT A BISCOIUT WIETH MOOLD>   
  


**bloodgod:** how did you not see the mold   
  
**bloodgod:** wil?

**bloodgod:** _@dirtycrimeboi_   
  
**bloodgod:** _@dirtycrimeboi_   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** i was eating 4 months expired biscuits   
  
**bloodgod:** why   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** idk i didnt think theyd be that bad   
**  
****smallgremlinchild:** idiot   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** says the kid who stuck his hand in a pot of boiling oil cos he reckoned it “looked like a piss bucket”   
**  
****smallgremlinchild:** screw you   
  
**bloodgod:** ooh clout   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** shut up tech   
  
**dadzapog:** I should’ve left you all on that street corner where you were standing

**dirtycrimeboi:** HA

**dirtycrimeboi:** BUT YOU DIDNT   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** cringe   
  
**bloodgod:** excuse me mr. i-have-lots-of-girlfriends

**smallgremlinchild:** i do!   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** i think tommy;sinto men   
  
**bloodgod:** tommy i dare you to tell us your sexuality   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** bet you 40 bucks that hes gay

**dadzapog:** Boys, theres nothing wrong with that!   
  
**bloodgod:** bet you 60 that he isnt

**dadzapog** : Oh for Gods sake   
**  
****smallgremlinchild:** dont judge me guys   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** but   
  
**{smallgremlinchild has left the chat}** **  
**  
**dadzapog:** You guys shouldn’t have pushed him!   
  
**{dadzapog has added smallgremlinchild to the chat}** **  
  
**

**dadzapog:** It’s alright Tommy, you don’t need to tell us if you don’t want to.   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** _imsexuallyattractedtoprintersgoddamntheyrejustsosexyandbeautiful_   
  
**bloodgod:** do i still get 40 bucks

**dirtycrimeboi:** no   
  
**bloodgod:** damn   
  
**dadzapog:** ...what am i raising   
  
**bloodgod:** the next political revolution who will die at your hands cannonically speaking   
  
**dadzapog:** WHAT   
  


**bloodgod:** nothing. just a buncha idiots.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** is anyone else scared of whatever techno just said   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** yea

**bloodgod:** dont worry guys,its not your time to be banished from your own nation due to the power of abusive presidents and democracy yet   
  
**dadzapog:** Guys, I’m sorry to do this but   
  
**{dadzapog has removed bloodgod from the chat}**

**{dadzapog has removed dirtycrimeboi from the chat}** **  
****  
****{dadzapog has removed smallgremlinchild from the chat}** **  
****  
****dadzapog:** Peace at last.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. PUT THE GUN DOWN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy becomes a criminal, wilbur is high, techno uses his english major and phil is dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know what drugs im on :]  
> if you see any typos, no <3

  
**02:10** **  
** **smallgremlinchild** : jam is period blood mixed with sugaer   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : what   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : cum is albino custard   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : can printers cum?   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : yea but its inky    
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : i wont question why you know this   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : :>   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : imagine putting milk in a water gun and shooting it at a lactose intolerant convention   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : i dont think it works that way   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : i dont think theres lactose intolerant conventions   
  
**dadzapog** : its fricking almost 3 am go to bed you lot or i will throw a slipper at you both    
  
**smallgremlinchild** : GOODNIGHT WIL   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : GOODNIGHT TOMS   
  
  
**10:03** **  
** **smallgremlinchild** : YOUVE MARRIED AN ICARUS AND HES FLOWN TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : DONT TAKE ANOTHER STEP IN MY DIRECTION    
  
**smallgremlinchild** : I CANT BE TRUSTED AROUND YOU   
  
**dadzapog** : FOR THE SAKE OF MY MENTAL SANITY AND YOUR LIVES, CAN WE PLEASE EAT BREAKFAST LIKE A NORMAL FAMILY

**bloodgod** : i dont think thats possible   
  
**bloodgod** : i still havent seen those two live a day without a stupid hamilton reference   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS STUPID, IM NOT STUPID   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : hey tech   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : HOWD YOU DO IT, HOWD YOU GRADUATE SO FAST   
  
**dadzapog** : I will actually pour boiling syrup on your head if you dont shut up and eat.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : point taken   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : dont upset dadza   
  
**bloodgod** : wise, considering thats your eventual doom   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : anyone else worried abt techno :/ ?   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : always   
  
**dadzapog** : Yeah, actually.   
  
**dadzapog** : Are you feeling ok, Techno?   
  
**bloodgod** : yea   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : do you think i could fit a pencil holder up my ass   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : THIS FIC ISMEANT TO BE REASONABLY PG FRIENDLY >:O   
  
  
**dadzapog** : Fic? Whats a fic?   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : uhh nothin dont worry   
  
**bloodgod** : wil.   
  
**bloodgod** : pms   
  
**bloodgod** : now   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : ?   
  
  
  
**Technoblade (bloodgod)** **  
** **10:54**   
  
**WilburSoot** : ?   
  
**Technoblade** : how much do you know about reality   
  
**WilburSoot** : _ well i know that̶̖̺̺̲͔̯͉̫̺̽̃̉̉͐̂̇̿͠ḩ̸̪̺͉̙̹̃̐i̴͔̠̰̲̪͛͐͛͐̾͑͂̕͝ṡ̵̨̡̢̢̪͈̱̱̑̄̓̋̇̒̍̈͜ ̴̛̲̤̹͕͍̼͍̲͉̏̓̃̕į̴̧̛͙̦̭̳̤̝̗̾͐͋̽̒̕͠ş̶̡̳̑̏̈͒ ̴̡̺͔͖̹̖̙̂̑̄̏̌̑͋͘ͅͅá̷̝̼͕̤̇̚ ̶̳́w̴̡̺̱̭͎͔͈̝̍̉̀̈̆͌̏̃͆̃o̷͍̲̭̳͐̈́r̶̗̰̰̔̓k̵̨̨̪͚̘̿̇͋̇̍̍͗̐͜ ̸͎͔̄̑̓̏o̴͔͓͇̹͊̈́̾f̸͎̳͔͍̰̯͋̔̏̄́̆̓ ̴̥̮̹̥̥͓͑͒́͋f̸̮͈̜̗͚̎̈͋͆ḭ̸̧͖̥͎̩̖̯̈́̔͊̕̚͝͝c̴̪̠̩̗̩̬̭̑ṭ̸̹̭͙̃̒͋̽̓́̈̒͠ȋ̴̘͖̆̈̂̿͒̕o̴̤͖̅̐̎͆̓̿̇n̵̛̿̚̕ͅ ̷̩͠ă̵̞̙̲ń̷̢̘͓͇̉͋̓̿ḑ̵̮̪̩̟̹̥͎̼̲̾͗̂̿͠ ̶̧̛̹͚̼̠̱͇̝̫̙̓̃̈̊̊̔̾̔͝t̶̜͓̖̎͑̉͐̽̂h̸̹̝̭͛͑̾ạ̴̇̇͑̎̎͛̽͌̾̚͜t̵͖̉̉̂̌̈́̌͘͝ ̷̨͕̳͉͇̝̜̹̘̓w̷̛͕̪̉̑̈̕ͅe̸̡̩̥̱͉͎̳͌͠ ̸̬̐͂̓͛̓̍͝ā̷̖̘r̸̡̿̄̏͗͘e̶̡͔͈̬̟͎̭͎̽̋̆̈́͑͜͠n̸̫͆͋̃ţ̷͕̝̰̯̘̱̱͙͊ ̶̣̑t̵̥̬̎̍̌͛͑̈́̀̊͋͠e̵̬̱̫̣͔̖̟̒̓̕c̴͈̮̠͓͍̓́̋̈́ĥ̸̼̙n̷̡̢̼͓͓͎͇̰̤̳̍́̆̀̽̃̎̒͠i̷̗̎̆́ç̷͙̝̳̰̦͕͐̇̐̓͝ͅa̴̫͈̱̗̜͎͑̾͝l̵͍͕̹̞̜̓͂̓̕͠l̶̯͗̍̓̅̈́͌̆̏̕y̸̯͌͌̓̕͘ ̸̨̯̰̬͉̥̤̤͓͐̐͌r̶̪̯̖̮̟̿̿̒̂͗͌̚͝e̸̻̤̦̐̄͗̊͝ͅä̶̧̺̠̼̯́̇̾̀͌̂̅̈́͘ļ̸͍̝̻̖͎͈̯͇͈̋̈̽̉̉̚ ̷̫̬̱̺̹̰̔͒ȧ̷̮̪͇̳͓̙́̎̋̃̂͝n̸̛̛̞̗̹̦͎̠̣͎̰̯̾͗̒͠͝d̷̘͓̈̀ ̷͙̮̭̋̓̅̆͌̽̆̂͘͜͜ṫ̴̠̼̱̩͉̆̍̾̑͋̈͠h̶̗̩̫̗̞̉̑͛ă̴̢̨̛̳̔̐̋͜t̴͓͈̩̭͍̯͛̏͜͜ͅ ̵̭͍̗̹̘̭͖͕̇̏̋t̷̛̟̜̰̖h̵̢̢̨͓̲̘̠̆̐̐́̕͜ë̷̲͈̗̖̺̬́́͜͝r̸̨͈͕̩̖͚͇̠̈́̐e̷̮͂̂̎̾̕s̸̡̪͉͕̈̂̒̇̈́͒̚ ̴̧̰͙̻̭͓͊̋̈́̿͐̉̈ä̴̡͉̭́͑̌́̊͆c̷̨͍̤͍͍̬̱͋t̴̖̫̪̰̲͓̻̥̬͔̋͛̾͊u̶̫͊̚͘͝ͅą̸̔͒͘l̴͙̞͎̻̠̮͖͋̊͛͐͑̾̓̈́͘ĺ̵̗̺̬͉̜̹̰̥̠̽̽̀̉̏̓̑ỷ̷͖̻̳̼̊̄̀̊ ̵̡̡̗̖̩͚͍̼̓̏͒̓̔͘̕͝͝͝r̴̡̢̢̡̡̠̼̦͕̼̾̂ę̵̔̄̈́̋͛͑̏̎a̵̬̭̘͋̓̓̐͆̈́͝͝ĺ̷̡̰̽́́͆͐̃͗͜͠ ̴͚̝̯͛̏͋͋͆͝͝v̶̙͎̻͓̺̝̻̎͗̍̂͗̅e̵̠̜̻̥͔̭̱̖͆̔̀̍̈̈̓̿̈́͋ŗ̴͓̗̪̣̺̤̋̌́̆̈́͒s̶̬͚̺̠̗͍͑̋î̴͔̞͚̪͓͙̫̹̿͒̉͋̈́͠o̶̡̥̮͎̥͙̦̿͌̓̅͐͌̐͝ͅn̴̰̼̘̦͇̲̝̟͑̐̈́s̷̻̱̼̳͇̺͉͖͐̆̈͘͜ͅ ̸̙̣̍ơ̷̡̨̬͚͖̹̥̘̋͝f̷̰͈̤͙̞̲̊̌͝͠ ̴̮͖̟͇̭͖͇͍̐͑̏̄̍u̵̖̤͉̪̼̟͇̓̔̎͗̿͋̐̏͝s̸̩̤̈́̐̀̇͑̈̑͝ _

**Technoblade** : …   
  
**Technoblade** : do you know about  _ l̵̡͈͉̰͈̪̒̒̿̑̐̓̈́̇̚'̴̨̢̲̞̮̠̣͍͖̽̒̈́̒̃͊̅m̸̳͙̬̮̯̱̳̰̺̤̿̓͆̽͊̄̾͑̂ḁ̴͇̹̰̫̟̣̎͗̍̾͆̓͠͝ņ̴̣̞͔͕̥̩̮́̊̊̃̔̅̓̈́̃͜͠b̶͕̟̌̒́̒̎̔ȩ̵̛̠̹͎̝̖̰̲͙̜̍̆͐͋͗̉̆̓͘r̷̡̳͍̰͂̿̋̒̓̀̋͘͝ͅg̷̤̭͓̲̩̠̑ _   
  
**WilburSoot** : what   
  
**Technoblade** : nvm   
  
**Technoblade** : back to chat ig   
  
  
  
**big men (dirtycrimeboi, bloodgod, dadzapog, smallgremlimchild)** **  
** **11:04** **  
**   
**bloodgod** : back   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : what was that about   
  
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : oh it was nothing toms   
  
**dadzapog** : Not gonna lie, I’m concerned.   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : me too :/   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : you guys r sus    
  
**bloodgod** : shush gremlin.   
  
**smallgemlinchild** : nooooooo i dont wannnaaaaa   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : dadzaaaaa   
  
**dadzapog** : all of you should shush   
  
  
**18:93**   
**smallgremlinchild** : guys wtf is wrong witrh the tiem>   
  
**bloodgod** : *with *time   
  
**dadzapog** : I honestly don’t know anymore, reality isnt a solid variable when it comes to you lot.    
  
**bloodgod** : vouch   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : how did some dude decide time   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : like   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : why 

**bloodgod** : idk   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : why is coco so underrated ?>   
  
**bloodgod** : i think it gets the amount of attention it deserves   
  


**dirtycrimeboi** : ohhhhh god uncle hector is so hot    
  
**dadzapog** : what   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : ahhhh hes so sexy and handsome i just-   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : dad i thought you saud you were gunna make him do therapy!   
  
**dadzapog** : Sorry Toms, they scheduled the appointment till next week.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : such glorious bones, makes sans jealous   
  
**dadzapog** : Wilbur.   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : ohhhh   
  
**dadzapog** : WILBUR

**dirtycrimeboi** : what    
  
**dadzapog** : Stop.    
  


**dirtycrimeboi** : ok   
  
  
**06:09**   
**smallgremlinchild** : haha the times 69 ha   
  
**dadzapog** : GO TO SLEEP YOU LIL SHI-   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : oo im sexy and i no it oo yea oo ha oo yea im sexy oo   
  
**bloodgod** : isnt that by justin beiber or smthin   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : what   
  
**dadzapog** : what   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : what   
  
**bloodgod** : ok nevermind   
  
  
**18:07**   
**dirtycrimeboi** : is cereal a soup   
  
**dadzapog** : why   
  
**bloodgod** : he has a point   
  
  
**smallgremlinchild** : he rlly does   
  
**smallgremlinsoup** : isnt soup a drink but   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : wait does that mean cereals a drink   
  
**smallgremlimchild** : or is it a stew technically?   
  
**bloodgod** : thesues frickin innit   
  
**bloodgod** : shut up   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : no :)   
  
**dadzapog** : ha i signed u all up 4 group therapee with de therapist uwu   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : i think we broke him   
  
**bloodgod** : hes in his room, crying with a packet of cheerios   
  
**dadzapog** : heart healthy   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : what did yiu guys do   
  
**bloodgod** : *you   
  
**bloodgod** : and YOU did this    
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : im scared

**dadzapog** : owo

  
  


**23:73**   
**smallgremlinchild** : the clocks biegn wierdchamp agen   
  
**bloodgod** : *being *weird *again   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : help how do i hide a woman   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : why   
  
**bloodgod** : oh no   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : taylor swift where do i put her   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : YOU HAVE TAYELOR SWIFFT?!?!11?!?!?!

**dirtycrimeboi** : yea where do i put her shes still unconscious tho   
  
**dadzapog** : will please   
  
**dadzapog** : put her back   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : too late shes waking up helP}Q)EQWNJQE   
  
**bloodgod** : bruuuh   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : um   
  
**dadzapog** : not again    
  
**dadzapog** : will please put the woman back   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : oh no please dont hurt saylor twift   
  
**bloodgod** : kinky but i agree with dad   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW THE HANDSOME BROWN-HAIRED LAD WHO KIDNAPPED ME   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : Hello Taylor Swift :D   
  
**bloodgod** : what   
  
**dadzapog** : how am i still alive   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : lmaoooo jk i didnt kidnap her that was me all along HA FOOLS   
  
**bloodgod** : wooow we would never have imagined huh   
  
**dadzapog** : …   
  
**bloodgod** : heh? phil?    
  
**dadzapog** : wil. Get out. Get in the car right now. All of you, get in the car.    
  
**smallgremlinchild** : why?   
  
**dadzapog** : im taking you all to therapy   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : at 12 am?   
  
**dadzapog** : im desperate   
  
  
**01:23**   
**dirtycrimeboi** : what do i say to the woman

  
**bloodgod** : how should i know shes calling me ‘excendengliy violent’

**smallgremlinchild** : she told me im hyperactive >:O   
  
**dadzapog** : all of you stop messaging eachother and focus on her   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : i still dont know why we’re here   
  
**bloodgod** : why are any of us here   
  
**bloodgod** : just to suffer

**dadzapog** : OFF YOUR PHONES, NOW

  
  
**02:41** **  
** **smallgremlinchild** : well that wasnt too bad   
  
**dadzapog** : YOU SHOT HER WITH A NERF GUN AND WE”RE LITERALLY IN THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : i still think she over reacted, calling the cops on us   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : they cant put me in jail i still have bullets and im a minor so HA   
  
**bloodgod** : i hate you all   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : awwwwww <3 we hate you too!   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : tommy, shoot the cops as soon as they open the door   
  
  
**dadzapog** : HOW ARE WE EVEN TYPING WE ALL HAVE HANDCUFFS   
  
**bloodgod** : dont question the context which the author put us in   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : please dont question it   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : idk abt u guys, but my handcuffs r loose :/   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : i literally took em off   
  
**  
** **03:01**   
**dadzapog** : HOLY CRAP TOMMY STOP SHOOTING PEOPLE   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : im starting to be really proud of you, toms   
  
**bloodgod** : me too, who knew you were so violent?   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : >:D BIG MAN SUPREMACY SCREW THOSE COPS   
  
**dadzapog** : i swear to god… how am i still alive….   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : idk but i got the keys to your handcuffs   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : lets get outta here, i’ll shoot anyone in the way   
  
**bloodgod** : how many soft-toy bullets does your toy have anyway   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : DONT   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : CALL   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : IT   
  
**smallgremlimchild** : A   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : TOY   
  
**bloodgod** : but it is   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : we’ll see how much of a toy it is when i shoot off your kneecaps   
  
**bloodgod** : ok point taken   
  
**bloodgod:** bruuuh who knew this kid was so vicious   
  
**dadzapog:** how are you all still breathing   
**  
** **dirtycrimeboi:** i bit a police officer and i think he was a furry, cos im starting to feel sick   
  
**dadzapog:** why did you bite him   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** idk   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** it felt right   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** but oh no i think i might have furry germs   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : dont come near me anymore wil, until you see a doctor   
  
**dirtycrimeboi** : i need a fursuit   
  
**dadzapog** : oh no please no   
  
**dadzapog** : not you too   
  
**dadzapog** : techno is bad enough   
  
**bloodgod** : im not a furry   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** his fursona’s a pig   
  
**bloodgod:** no   
  
**bloodgod:** dad im being bullied   
  
**dadzapog:** stop bullying techno   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** SNIFF INHALE DO YOU SMELL THAT TOMS I SMELL THAT   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** YEA WIL, THATS DEFINITELY SOME STRONG FAVOURITISM IN THE AIR, AND ITS COMING RIGHT FROM PHILZA MINECRAFT AND TECHNO THE BLADE   
  
**bloodgod:** why are you even surprised at this point, im the most sane person here   
**  
** **dadzapog:** lay off you lot, and lets go home   
  
  
**05:43** **  
** **bloodgod:** the scene in finding nemo when all the fish escape the fisher net    
  
**bloodgod:** it can be used to represent how the layout of soldiers work, if you see it in a logical way. The majority of the fish are used to symbolize the brute force of your average soldier, lots of strength, but not nearly enough brains. They struggle hopelessly against the net surrounding them, swimming in different directions and not taking a moment to think of a possible escape route. But dory, dory is different. For what she lacks in strength, she makes up for with ehr kind heart, determination and smartness. Though she may appear dumb on the outside, and ridiculously short-sighted in her actions, she was able to command the brute force into finding a possible escape route. This can be used to argue that no matter how idiotic people may seem, they will all have their moments of strength in different situations, whether being brains or brute. You can also argue that all brute forces need their fair share of brain to operate, no matter how strength one may have. Another representation of that is the headcanon known as sbi, or sleeby bois inc. philza and wilbur can be used to represent the fair share of brains in the group, while tommy and myself can represent the brute force, which is why our dynamic is unstoppable, or decently at a higher percentage of success than other brands. This can apply to others, such as dreamteam, the trio, or any other groups.   
**  
** **dadzapog:** what how why    
  
**dadzapog:** techno you were the only sane child i had left   
  
**bloodgod:** sorry dad but no   
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** why are you watching finding nemo at 5 am i can hear it   
  
**smallgremlinchild** : guiys im tiiirde whyre uou all liek yhuis   
  
**bloodgod:** *guys *tired *you *like *this   
  
**dadzapog** : at this rate im gonna turn off the wifi   
**  
** **bloodgod:** NO    
  
**dirtycrimeboi:** PLEASE NO   
  
**smallgremlinchild:** NOOOOO

**dadzapog** : then go to sleep   
  
**dirtycrimebo** i: fine, fine   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what if fundy was the cop- *immediately gets hit in the face with a broomstick handle*

**Author's Note:**

> {grabby hands in a silent request for comments}  
> i might not reply to them but, because how does one reply to comments?


End file.
